what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize