I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
