You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
