My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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