What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
