Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize