YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize