ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
