So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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