You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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