You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
