Taylor Swift is so right about you.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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