Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
