whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
