if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
