whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
