While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
