When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
