I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
