so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
