the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
