Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
