your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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