So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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