I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
