Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I didn't notice because vodka
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
