all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
