Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
