Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
