If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
