Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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