Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize