That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
