dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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