I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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