I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
