you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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