I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
