How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
