idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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