I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
