Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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