thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
