just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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