I hope mine doesn't look like that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
