i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
