So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
