Pappa wants mamma naked
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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