I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
