So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize