drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
