why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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