Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize