It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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