What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
