Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
