no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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