so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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