And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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