Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
